I found myself in a situation where everyone was waiting for me to react, and somehow I couldn’t react. I didn’t have it in me to focus on what they were all focusing on because what was going on at that point in time in my life; needed my attention more.
I found myself wondering if not reacting because I realized that wasting energy on something I felt was petty; wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth the energy or attention to me, and I wasn’t going to react because it made no sense to me to react. Isn’t it funny how people are quick to throw the term “emotional intelligence” around and fail to spend time trying to understand it? How they seem to think that their way of handling things is the only way to do things? How their reactions to situations, seems to be the ideal way to handle things because it works for them?
Since emotions are subjective and we often struggle to rationalize how we feel to ourselves; since there’s no handbook on ‘How to’ combat our emotional struggles, how is it then that a mere mortal like myself feels that his or her way of dealing with emotions I know nothing of could possibly aid me with mine? You see, the same way our emotions are extensions of ourselves, so is our emotional intelligence and based on that premise, your solutions are not my solutions. I find myself distancing myself from certain things because I find them childish, I find myself removing people from my life because I feel they have served their purpose and no longer contribute to my growth, I understand that life works out the way it wants to and we can only control so much, so our decisions need only make sense to us, similar to our emotions.
Human beings have this uncanny way of making their moral compass sets, the standard for other people. They have this belief that their way of doing things is the only way of doing things and those who do things differently need to be crucified for it. If we are all individuals in our own right, walking our individual journeys, learning our individual lessons, reaching our individual goals, how is it then that we cannot deal with things in our own individual way?
There are things that require no elaboration, things that are referred to as ‘common knowledge’ akin to common sense. We all know right from wrong, whether we act on what we know is an entirely new discussion, the point is, the manner in which you handle situations is negligible because at the end of the day, the same values that are governing mankind are being upheld. Your way is no better than mine. There are various methods of solving ‘x’ and outside the classroom, there are no method marks.
Emotional intelligence cannot function well without rationality; how sometimes it is important to approach the person you have a problem with, and talk to them about it, instead of putting on a show for the masses.
It is important to understand that sometimes not reacting shows emotional intelligence, because you keep your emotions in check, instead of reacting in the heat of the moment. Why do fools rush in? Because they feel like rushing in. If we did everything we felt like doing when we felt like doing it, half of us would be incarcerated and the rest filing for divorce. The staircase where our emotions met our intellect is where emotional intelligence was conceived.
Rationality like many other things is important in so many situations. Living a life of assuming things instead of asking is dangerous and careless, but many live that way anyways. When you lack facts to back up your thoughts or justify your emotions however act upon both, you place yourself in a compromising situation. You make more of an ass of yourself than the person whom your assumptions involve.
Emotional intelligence you say? I like my definition more than I like yours.
So continue to preach about emotional intelligence, continue to preach about how we should do things your way, continue to talk about how your moral compass is better than someone else’s and continue to forget that your emotional intelligence, may be questionable in someone else’s eyes, but my 10c, check yourself and stick with yourself instead of checking someone else.
Co-Written with @Phemii_S