I want to lie to you and say that I don’t need or want physical intimacy from you but it isn’t worth it to me to lie. I want the kind of intimacy that we have mentally on a physical level where I know that no matter where you are or what you’re doing I don’t have to wonder if you have that level of intimacy with someone else.
I wanna feel so connected to you that even when I engage another man, your touch makes is incomparable to even want to be near him. I crave you. Wine drunk nights and chats about nothing in particular are essential to how we are. Alone.
Behind closed doors, I battle with knowing how my soul just feels intimately intertwined with yours. I wanna run. Run to the ends of the earth in the hopes that this internal battle will die. But it doesn’t. With every moment we engage my heart skips several beats and does several back flips. I’m supposed to be over you. You aren’t meant to contain me in feelings.
This isn’t part of my plan. This moment of wanting to feel your warm embrace. What have you done to me? I manage to put my guard up and yet… the essence of your very being and the intimacy of all things we have in a vulnerable moment of lust leading to a penetrative state of our bodies, minds and spirits interlinking. The definition of connection transforming through stages of a mental connection and drowning in the purity of a physical connection.
You’re who I knew I always needed but I was always too afraid to scream to the heavens that this… this connection … is what I’ve always wanted.
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